About a week after I returned from Yucatan in March, an automated email I set up long ago for job opportunity summaries arrived in my inbox. This one linked to a description of the kind of job I started looking for five years ago, shortly after we arrived here from California the second time.

It was a network analyst position with the local school district. Decent salary and presumably substantial benefits (especially health insurance - and for both of us). Interesting work I am well qualified for.

But ah, I had already begun to consider myself early-retired, and now with a renewed interest in living in Yucatan, or elsewhere in Mexico - and a conviction that things are going rapidly and irreversibly to Hell in the good old Estados Unidos.

The idea of rejoining the work force is a little difficult for me to contemplate at this point. I'm convinced that a job that requires sitting in a cubicle most of the day is probably life-shortening, and the ten-hour days with commute wouldn't leave much time for exercise or healthy shopping and eating. The years are also slipping away, and it's hard to guage what this would do to any trial run in Mexico.

So I sent in a resume, application, and cover letter, thinking to myself that if they responded I would deal with the issue then. If they didn't - no worries. They did. I went in and had what I thought was a great interview. Came home and told Pat that it looked 90% like a done deal to me. They advised I would hear from them in a week and a half.

So then I had the (seemingly strong) possibility that they might actually offer me the job. This was causing me all sorts of anxiety. We've been moving down a path of pulling up stakes here one way or another. More money, stimulating work, decent health care on someone else's dime? Snazzy co-workers and some work status and social life? No more oil painting? Late night support calls? Winter commuting (complete with driveway shovelling in the dark)? No more dog fostering? No time to read? No more naps?

I found myself hoping they would find someone better (well, who seemed better to them), and wondering how I would respond if they offered me the job. It would be hard to turn down, but equally hard to accept.

Today I heard from them. When I saw the caller ID number, then heard the hiring manager's voice start the message, I got a big shot of adrenaline. "...Wanted to let you know that we did hire someone else for the network analyst position but we really appreciated meeting you and I appreciated your interest in the position..."

So there it is. Now things go in a different direction. I am spared the ultimate decision. Should I be relieved, or disappointed? I mean, I am certainly relieved about being spared the responsibility for making the decision, and I guess it's irrelevant how I feel about not working there, because it isn't happening.

Would have been nice to have more income to stash away, but on the other hand...

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