Saturday, January 15, 2005



I took the M-dog for a walk this afternoon, over by the low-cost apartment buildings where Navy non-commissioned officers were once housed. There's one area I frequently drive by where I have been noticing an old guy out digging and puttering in what looks like a pretty well-established garden plot.

I miss the Camden Avenue garden more than I ever imagined, even as I recall the way I used to feel burdened and occasionally overwhelmed by the maintenance tasks that went with the vast four tenths of an acre area around the old house in Hayward. A day like today would have been filled with as much pruning and cleanup as I could muster a year ago. Most likely I would have felt resentment about the time and effort required that day to keep up with the gardening demands.

But today, standing at the edge of the old man's big garden, I grieved again for my trees and flowers. Especially my roses. I saw the ancient gardener up on his second floor balcony, watching me, and gave him a wave and a smile. "It's beautiful", I said, and asked "How long have you been doing this?" He smiled back, and in halting English replied "Two years. You come back three months, roses be very nice, many roses. " I could see that he had recently put in maybe fifteen new bare-root roses, and had pruned back a bunch of older established ones. "I plant all these trees." he said proudly, pointing to a row below where he stood. "Cherries." They were about twelve feet tall, and their skillful pruning was revealed by the dormant leafless state. I recognized the shiny distinctive bark, and thought of the huge and productive cherry tree I had planted eight years before. I remembered standing under it and eating my fill of perfectly ripe dark cherries off the tree, and feeding some to the chickens.

As we chatted more, I learned that he was an Afgani - some sort of refugee I suppose. I guessed that he had been there for a few years in the apartment, and that he had immediately started his big garden, with all sorts of vegetables and fruits - and roses. It probably gave him great comfort - being so far away from the home and garden that he gave up for whatever reason.



January is the month I too used to prune back my rose bushes to the short stalks that prepared them for another long season of producing lush foliage and achingly beautiful heavenly scented blossoms. Standing there looking at the old man's plot, I thought about how the city and developers will probably demolish his simple apartment building in a year or two, replacing it with expensive new housing and shopping. I looked back and up at him as the dog and as I walked away past a row of thorny bare canes, and thought about how he would miss his roses and his garden again when this happened.


© Text 2003-2004 Stanley J. Wolf


Wednesday, January 12, 2005


As I try to develop the discipline of a writer, I guess the fact that I get anxious when I don't post to this blog is a good sign. I'm reaching the point where after returning home from work, I'd rather spend time crafting a post than fixing dinner - or taking a nap. When a couple of weeks pass without anything new I feel negligent and frustrated.



Writing seems like an inherently worthwhile activity, while the day job seems increasingly like a necessary burden tolerated only to generate cash. If writing could produce a stream of income, I would be happy to abandon the technology practice with the attendant on-call periods, poorly administered environments, and screwy hours. At this stage, even a normal work week feels like screwy hours to me, but I'm referring more to episodes like December 31st when I went in around 6pm for a project and left at 3:30am on January 1st. Feliz año nuevo.



I've passed through three careers in the past thirty years. Photographer, pilot, engineer - each lasting around ten years. I'm at the end of one of those decades now in my IT Engineer period, and once again it feels like the time has arrived to move on. This time, I'd like to pursue a creative outlet - something I enjoyed with photography to some degree, even as a non-fine-art photographer.

Writing could be the right pursuit.

This career shift could be taking us back to the long-neglected Mexico relocation theme. One of the inhibitions that derailed the move last summer was the sense that while the numbers seemed to add up, there was still some apprehension about the financial viability of life as an ex-pat with no source of income. Immigrants in Mexico can't work at an ordinary jobs that Mexicans can hold, so self-employment like writing could offer a source of income otherwise unavailable. With Internet communications enabling business with various publishing markets, it seems like a great opportunity.

I want to offer people alternate views of their environment. My desire to accomplish this through writing is the same as my primary motivation in photography. I want to portray beauty, which is essentially a revealing of truth. Truth is often concealed from us or unnoticed- especially if we are too wrapped up in our pasts and futures to fully experience the present moment.

When I go looking for various aspects of reality to express in visual or verbal media, it helps me find this beauty and rejoice in it myself. If I can share this by creating tangible work instead of simply having an internal experience, and make my work available to others, the benefit of the experience or insight is multiplied.


Recently I was browsing through the local paper when I ran across an article about two local authors who have published a number of books individually and collaboratively. They also produce a syndicated column and are routinely published in various periodicals. This husband-and-wife team is hosting two writing workshops - one to develop the basic craft with aspiring writers, and one to demonstrate the business mechanics of the writing business.

The discovery of this offering on the heels of my recent more serious desire to pursue the writing practice seems like an additional signpost to me, pointing encouragingly in this direction. The fact that they live two blocks away seems like additional mojo.




Text © 2003-2004 Stanley J. Wolf