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Yesterday was a day of great shame for our country, as congress completed its endorsement of chilling White House sponsored legislation to allow torture of suspects who can be rounded up without warrants and held without charges indefinitely - unable to appeal the validity of their detention to a judicial body.

For the first time since the Civil War, the right of Habeas Corpus is to be suspended. This means a person can be fingered as an "enemy combatant" based on arbitrary criteria, whisked away to a secret prison, possibly to be tortured and held for any length of time without the right to judicial review as a remedy to unjustified detention. This is a horrific affront to our Constitution, which enshrines guaranteed protection against such imprisonment in Article One, Section Nine. Now, only an invalidating Supreme Court ruling can reverse this erosion of civil liberties.

Bush is fond of saying terrorists "hate our freedom" as a justification for the adventures of his neo-con associates, but it seems the executive branch's disdain for our Constitutionally guaranteed freedoms would be hard to equal.

Last night, before the Zadillo speech at the university, the national anthems of Mexico and the U.S. were played. As I stood listening to the last refrain of The Star-Spangled Banner, I wondered - is this really still the home of the brave? How can we imagine ourselves brave when we allow ourselves to be frightened into discarding our cherished Constitutional protections by the likes of Rumsfeld, Cheney and Bush? That we are today less the land of the free seems beyond question, and it is not the terrorists who are to blame for that.

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Some members of my Spanish conversation group that meets several times a week.

When I arrived at the university today for my Spanish conversation group, there was a large gathering of people near the outdoor table where we meet. I went over to see what was attracting all the attention, and saw that it was a religious prosletyzer. He was asking various bystanders if they were fornicators, or potty-mouths. What I found interesting that was the fact tht he could draw and maintain a crown at all - in Berkeley I think he would have been ignored.


Is his sign like a Chinese restaurant menu?

Later this evening, I went back to the campus for a lecture by former Mexican president Ernesto Zadillo.



He is a prominent economist in international circles these days, and an ardent promoter of globalization - something I have always had a somewhat negative opinion of. His arguments pretty much won me over, given that he emphasized the prerequisites of respect for human rights and the rule of law. He did point of some grave risks that could upset the global economic apple cart, and could lead to ugly consequences. Not the least of the risks were the extreme U.S. trade and account imbalances. If the Chinese should ever decide to stop buying our IOU's abruptly, the fallout could be harsh indeed - runaway inflation, global recession, harsh trade protectionism, and major devaluation of the dollar among them.

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We spent last weekend at the ranch. Mona made a great potroast dinner one night, and enchiladas with red chili sauce and chili stew the next. We wandered around the Northwest corner of the property to try and visualize what a small cabin would be like there someday.


Clark and Mdog Monday morning.

On Monday evening after we returned home, we went to screening of a film called "10 Questions for the Dalai Lama". It had some great interview segments with HHTDL, and lots of rare historical footage of Tibet before and after the Chinese came to desecrate and terrorize as they forcibly annexed the country. The Dalai Lama, as the head of state as well as spiritual leader, tried to enlist the U.S. to fend off the invasion and horrific atrocities of the Chinese communists, but as Tibet was not in posession of any valuable resources the Americans coveted (like oil), and their pervasive religion was decidedly non-Christian, there was little interest and no assistance made available. Apparently our outrage over attrocities is only translated into action when there is loot for corporate interests involved.



After watching the footage of how the Chinese tortured and persecuted those Tibetans who did not flee in time, and how the gemlike capital of Lhasa was reduced to a dreary concrete urbanscape populated with criminals, prostitutes, secret police and video monitoring, and it is amazing to see the Dalai Lama so devoid of hate for the vermin that infested his country. It is sad that the majority of what we buy here now originates in China, that our country is deepy in debt to them, and that our corporations appear to fall all over each other to conform to Chinese oppression in their business pratices there. Various Internet companies work with the Chinese government to create limits on web access that distorts any effort to learn the truth about Tibet and the shame of Chinese aggression there.

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Pat was off to Seattle again for the week, so I have been on my own, and not having an especially good week I'm afraid. Rather than resolving any questions about the future, ever more forks seem to keep appearing in the path ahead, with no clear indication of which direction to pursue. This morning I awoke around 4am, and lay sleepless for the next four hours pondering the way time is passing with such little progress toward the gracious life I imagined when we left California two long years ago.

Yesterday I did check out a good certification school for Cisco network technology, that could give me sufficient credibility after a year off to seek and land a job....somewhere. I sat in on a class and enjoyed the stimulating lecture that rekindled my interest in the technology I used to wrangle. The next class is in late January.


Silkie the ranch cat has few concerns for life's complexities.

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I spent a few hours browsing and reading in the university bookstore yesterday after the weekly Spanish conversation group on campus. One of the books I spent some time with was a wonderful small volume called Saying Yes to Life , that contained the following statement...

Facing our addiction to worry is more useful than resolving the specific content of our worries.

Seems like pretty good advice, since the content of most worries is obsessive and unresolvable! One need only browse the rich assortment of quotes about worry to appreciate the futility of most worry.



"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past,
not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles,
but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly." Buddha

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Some months ago, dear sister Mona gave me a ticket to attend a visit by the Dalai Lama to bless and speak at the Great Stupa of the Shambhala Moutain (Buddhist) Center in the mountains Northwest of Fort Collins. It was an early birthday present for me, and today was the day of the event. The original consecration of the stupa took place in 2001, after 13 years of construction. Mona occasionally attends weekend retreats or special programs at the many-acred mountain retreat and meditation center, and has been eager for me to attend an event there.

I had my doubts about attending this event, which was expected to draw a couple of thousand people (qualifying as the dreaded 'mob scene' for me), but it was a gift, and I'm learning that when I think about what might be done for others there usually are no regrets on my part.


The stupa at dawn - it was REALLY cold this morning. We waited for almost two hours for the Dalai Lama, who arrived dramatically via helicopter armada and SUV motorcade.

There was a dramatic moment when the Dalai Lama arrived at the stupa. The frigid wind had blown steadily all morning as the sky lightened and sunrise approached. Along the path between the road and the stupa, two fire pits threw off a column of white smoke as fragrant green cedar boughs had been added. As the motorcade eased to a stop at the foot of the path, low mournful ceremonial Buddhist horns could be heard. The wind ceased abruptly, and the column of smoke settled gently to the ground, permeating the air all around with a thin blue haze that diffused the first light of dawn. A magical effect.

After introductions, the Dalai Lama gave his talk, mostly in English with occasional lapses into Tibetan or help with an English phrase from his translator. When he stumbled over a phrase or made a small joke, his unaffected laughter would spread through the crowd. Other guests spoke, including Queen Noor (widow of King Hussein) of Jordan, the spiritual leader of the Shambhala lineage, and a prominent rabbi. All focused on the need for and path to peace and compassion in the world, and a diminisioning of hate and agression in the world.



I didn't locate Mona until after the program ended. Then, I ran into her directly in front of and at the base of the stupa. We were both in tears over our joy at finding each other there. Neither of us had been sure I would even attend.

We had lunch together, and toured around the stupa and acreage, checking out all the facilities and enjoying the bracing fall weather at the 8000 foot elevtion.


The Buddha in the Great Room at the base of the stupa. The white mass on the Buddha's lap and feet is made up of many hundreds of katas, or offering scarves, left by those who have come to pay their respects.

It was a lovely day, and an inspiration on many levels. Thanks for the wonderful birthday gift, Mona!


Mona sits on her cushion for a last time, alone in the big summer meditation shrine tent. She told me of how over the weekend the times there were punctuated by thunder and lightning, and pounding rain intersersed with period of calm and sunlight.

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I celebrated el dia de la independencia de Mexico (and my birthday) on dieciseis de septiembre - Sept. 16th last week - by attending a workshop at a church on Mexican immigrants' rights and challenges, and stopping by the university campus for some free mid-day refreshments and entertainment. The night before, I watched live on Univision TV as el presidente Fox marked the occasion with the traditional 'grito' (shout) of "Vive Mexico!" "Vive la independenci", and other salutes to national pride. This annual tradition also includes flag-waving and bell ringing, and is greeted by the crowds with great enthusiasm. How refreshing to see the leader of a country who doesn't seem to spend most of his time whining that it's too inconvenient to torture and "disappear" people without additional debasing of his nation's constitution...

Clark in one of his signature poses at the kitchen table in the morning.

We spent a few days at the ranch about a week ago. We went up there as we finalized preparations to acquire a cargo van to convert into a mini-motorhome with the help of a conversion shop in Denver. Actually bought the thing over the ranch phone from a dealer in Boulder. The next morning I experienced some pretty strong 'buyer's remorse', as I reconsidered the wisdom of even pursuing the project. Much stress and discussion with Pat followed. We found that both of us were doing the van thing partly out of desperation to do...SOMETHING, anything to move us forward from our seemingly chronically stuck situation since we left California. Not a good reason to raid the savings.

A call to the dealer pulled the plug on the transaction Saturday, although later in the week after we returned home to Fort Collins, I did drive to Boulder to test drive the damn thing and look it over again as we reconsidered the entire effort one more time. We were uneasy that we were wrong to abandon our vision of a fun project resulting in comfortable conveyance through Mexico as we explored for a retirement place.

Hey, you do remember what this blog is supposed to be about? Mexico? Life after work?


Finally, we did put the van conversion project on indefinite hold. We're now planning to drive through several Mexican states during the last three weeks of the year in the trusty (we hope) old Xterra, leaving the Mdog at the ranch in the care of Mona and Clark. I don't know if tht will be harder on me or her, but hopefuly we'll both mangage somehow. Pat and I MUST experience a trip down there together, to see how we feel about further efforts to make the move eventually. Until now, all our Mexican travel has been solo as someone stays behind working and minding the house and Her Royal Dogness.

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After we settled down a bit from the van debacle, we enjoyed a day of working around the ranch, helping with loading of a big flatbed with about 250 square bales of hay for some Mexican horse people from Denver, and doing a firewood run from where Clark splits and cuts it to the traditional cold-season woodpile along the fence East of the house. The warmth from the woodstove this winter will be all the more enjoyable knowing we helped fuel it.


Pat and Mona unload firewood from the bucket on one of the tractors.


Kind of sums up the last day at the ranch. One of these days we are going to spend a few days at the ranch with no drama, and no crazy plans to think about...

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Another entire month has passed without an entry. At one time, I would have posted the bad stuff that drags me down for days at a time, but a while ago a friend sent me an email encourging me to seek psychiatric help for my disaffection, and I let that subdue my posting of anything other than newsy lightweight stuff.

Well, that's no fun. In the interest of presenting a more realistic picture of what's going on, and filing in the long gaps for those interested enough to stop by here now and then, I'm going to try once again to post regularly - the good and the (sometimes very) bad.

Thanks to my friend Eric for the inspiration.

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Not long ago, Mona and Becky came down from the ranch to visit me here, and we all went down to Albuquerque for my niece Serena's wedding to her long-time companion, Cole.


The three of us here in Fort Collins

I resisted the idea of going to the wedding for a long time. Too far away, too expensive to participate, Pat couldn't go.... But in the end I decided it was important to other people that I attend, and put that idea first. I got the following in an email from Serena, when she didn't get an RSVP from me a long time after I got my invitation..."By the way, I should pester you a least a little about coming to NM. I will definitely understand if you don't think you can make it--no guilt involved what so ever (I mean it). However, we would LOVE to have you two there. You mean a lot to both of us and especially to me. You and Pat really made it possible for me to come out to SF and start a life there. You guys have always been great to me...just so you know you're not just some uncle out there."

Maybe that's what made it so enjoyable. There is a Buddhist saying, that if you want to be happy, see to the happiness of others.


Mona, Becky, Serena, and her father Richard. Serena likes to inform people that she is the daughter of a Buddhist cowgirl and a Jewish mariachi.


Becky in the courtyard of the wonderful old hacienda where we all stayed.

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