We have the good fortune of knowing a wonderful lady in California who has maintained a friendship with us for many years. Arlene was a student of mine at one time (she is an accomplished aviator), and will always stand out among all others I have met or will meet for her many interesting, inspiring, and endearing characteristics. She is a living embodiment of many of the things you might read in spiritual or self-help books. Her own struggles in life are no less of a trial than yours and mine, but she finds a way to carry on and support others that always seems to impart a lesson of some kind if one is open to seeing it.

Today, I received an Express Mail package full of 'anti-depressant tablets' from Arlene. Arlene, if you read this - THEY WORKED!



Tonight, I went to the University performing arts center to see student vocalists perform and compete for some pretty generous scholarships and cash grants. Most of their chosen vocal works were classical, with an emphasis on opera. I believe I heard more opera tonight than in the past twenty years. Most of the twenty or so performances were competent, if forgetable, but a few were astonishing in their power and virtuosity, transcending language and genre (Italian and German opera is usually lost on me). Glad I checked it out - a free event open to the public, with perhaps five percent of the seats filled in the performance hall.



This sort of thing is part of the good face of Fort Collins that clashes with the vague uneasiness I feel here, as though I don't belong here for the long term. There is something about the houses and neighborhoods, the self-congratulatory outdoor sports enthusiasm, the ominous and oppressive political conservatism that too often intrudes in this mostly progressive enclave, and above all the tiresome winter climate that makes me long to continue the search for a different place to call home. The charming pubs and local coffee houses, abundant, inexpensive, and accessible events, the youthful face of the population, and surprisingly plentiful social opportunities would be missed if left behind, but the whole picture just doesn't seem to come into focus somehow.

Of course, I do worry about the constant reminders (from books and others) that in some sense everything needed for a "decent, good, completely fulfilling, energetic, inspired life" (thanks Pema) is already at hand. More Pema Chodron: "...Being satisfied with what we already have is a magical golden key to being alive in a full, unrestricted, and inspired way. One of the major obstacles to what is traditionally called enlightenment is resentment, feeling cheated, holding a grudge about who you are, where you are, what you are."

And yet, might not this kind of acceptance of status quo stand in the way of pursuit of that which feels natural, of seeking a place one might, at long last, truly feel a sense of belonging?

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