Foster Family

Taking in foster dogs can be a complex activity.  It probably appears simple to the casual observer - a local rescue group arranges for the inbound transfer of surrendered or stray pets from a shelter (often out-of-state) that can't observe a no-kill policy due to over-population and under-adoption.  The rescue operation may or may not have any physical facilities, but depends on local foster homes willing to take in the rescued animals and care for them until they are adoptable - and adopted.

This care of course always includes the basics of survival, but also a variety other needs must be met.  I have always specialized in the adult females - often momma dogs recently seperated from puppies they were brought in with.  The puppies are easy to adopt out.  Their mommas, with saggy teats, often emaciated torsos and ratty fur, and various amounts of emotional baggage (just like us!) are not so immediately irresistible.  They are often timid or untrusting of human kindness and unfamiliar with good house manners.  In addition to physical rehabilitation, and possible medical care, the foster people must assess the current state of the dog (beyond what is known by the rescue crew and releasing shelter - usually not much) so they know what needs work, and what information to pass along to potential adopters.  Does she need confidence/trust building?  Know how to sit for a treat?  Wait to be taken outside to go potty?  Walk on a leash?  How will she react to the presence of other dogs?  Kids?  Men?  Women?  Riding in a car?  Is she a counter surfer (looking for snatchable food when unsupervised)?  Suffer from seperation anxiety?  Tolerate being in a crate?  Photos must be taken to show her at her best, to illustrate adoption listings on the Internet.

Lap time.

The current dog we are fostering represents the greatest challenge of all.  She is absolutely adorable, with almost no faults.  She is eager to show and receive affection, doesn't bark or smell funny, has fur like a sable or mink, seems gentle with all she encounters, and is just small enough to occupy a lap now and then (often accomplished by a flying leap).  She hangs out in her crate willingly, but shows ecstatic appreciation for walks and even visits to the back yard.  Or moving from one room to the other, following at the feet of her newly adored caretakers for that matter.

Her name is Annabelle, and she is among the best, sweetest nap dogs ever.  You really couldn't awake being nuzzled by a cuter beast, with her inviting belly waiting to be scratched. 

"How do you give them up?", people ask.  "I could never do that!", they say.  Well, it isn't easy.  Many who try fostering end up with 'failed fosters' they hadn't intended to adopt - it is a risk.  There have been at least a half dozen among the twenty we have fostered that had me agonizing over the prospect of releasing them to adoption homes.  And people often mistakenly think they are being helpful to suggest ecouragingly, "Oh, you should keep her!" What makes it tolerable, then?  Finding for them a better home than I could provide, generally.  I don't know at this point if I might work full time again, or relocate to another country for some period of time.  Such things are challenging enough for me at this point that in order for the coming changes to occur I feel I can't really afford the additional distraction and responsibility of being the permanent guardian of a dog that I am in love with.  I don't want to work full time leaving a dog home alone for ten hours at a time, and while others relocate internationally with their pets, I would probably experience too much anxiety about the process.  I also have a pretty poor track record of making wise choices about what to do with my life in recent years, leading to continual uncertainty.  If another family can provide a great space, stability, loving attention, one or more dog or child playmates, then I can feel that the benefits for the dog and the adopting family are multiplied, and my own ultimate reward is greater in surrendering to them the devotion and unconditional love that quickly develops and flows from these grateful fosters. 

I also hesitate to take on the lifelong commitment for maintaining the emotional and physical well-being of these innocent, dependent little beings.  I enjoyed the lifetime companionship of  two (dog) girls over twenty-five years, and I find myself going through a spell right now of wanting minimal responsibility.  There are also times when I feel barely up to the task emotionally of caring for myself, such is the power of post-mid-life angst these days, with all the uncertainty about the path forward and remorse over past mis-steps

So off little Annabelle will go tomorrow, hopefully to enjoy a fabulous life with her new family of two responsible adults and their four charming and dog-craving children.  They called, then came over to visit a few days ago and spent a considerable amount of time getting acquainted with Annabelle, who was but one of several dogs they checked out. "Who are the dog lovers?",  I asked the two older boys and two younger girls - I think all their hands shot up.  Their previous dog died in December, and they are ready to open their home and their hearts to little Annabelle, who clearly won them over from their first meeting.  It was wonderful to see how much the girls and boys (and parents) enjoyed interacting with her, and how well Annabelle recieved their attention.  I really appreciated how much thought and effort they put into the adoption process.  The kids are home-schooled, so there will be someone around the house most of the time.  With any luck at all they will collectively experience many years of the joyous experience enjoyed only by those who adopt these unique little creatures of mixed ancestry.

I know there are innumerable rescue dogs waiting for their chance at a better life if I can find the time and strength to continue repeating this process, and when the right time arrives, there will be a very special dog waiting for and needing me to share her life beyond foster care.