We took the current foster dog for a walk in a nature preserve a few days ago. Someone had installed a bench as a memorial there, with an inscription you can mostly make out in the accompanying photo - it's repeated below...

"A dragonfly lights beside us like a sunbeam, and for a moment its glory and beauty belong to the world. But then it flies again, and though we wish it could have stayed, we feel lucky to have seen it".

This certainly applies to my current feelings about most of the fosters I've had converting to a lifetime adoption. This little dog 'Foxie' especially is so great, I was stuggling with the idea of her leaving for an adoption family. The same struggle has occured with several past dogs, and each time I have to consider how great it is to share some time with them, then let them go. I also need to consider the value I might continue to provide for future foster animals. There are never enough foster homes to meet the needs, and the rescue people are often overextended.

As I've sorted this out, I have to acknowledge that I'm still not prepared to begin another lifetime commitment to a dog, no matter how great a short-term companion they are. After numerous 5-10 day visits I still probably need to try a longer period of living in Mexico to see how I feel about eventually living there as an expat. It's so hard for me to get to the point where I even attempt a month(s)-long visit that adopting a dog would probably disrupt the process entirely. I have a low tolerance for complexity and hassles, and I need to minimize complications to facilitate moving on to whatever lies ahead as life here in the house in Fort Collins winds down. It has occured to me that intolerance of hassles and complications in everyday life might be a disqualifying temperment for Mexican life to begin with, given that things don't always unfold smoothly there.

It also occurs to me that my foster dog relationships are probably not unlike that that of a grandparent who adores their grandchildren - it's great to have a weeks-long visit with the little darlings, but if the parents were to expire in a freeway encounter with a semi on the way to pick them up, there might be some altered feelings...

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