Fear and Loathing in the workplace...

Well, in a big turnabout, I decided to take the job in the network call center after all. I had told them on the 3rd that I wasn't accepting it, but on the 15th (a Saturday) two days before what would have been my start date, I sent them an email apologizing to the recruiter for my abrupt loss of interest (and explaining a bit why - which included my loathing of the urine collection drug screening). Then, on Monday morning, I got a call from them saying they still wanted me for the position, and could I be there that morning to be 'processed', and start the next day.

I had been mulling over the fact that this might be my near-last opportunity (after a three-and-a-half-year hiatus) to re-establish my credentials as a network engineer, and that maybe this wouldn't be such a bad gig as I had imagined. I also found that my desire to paint was not matched by a willingness to confront my fear of failure in that area, and I was was not eager to commence the process.

So in I went, and as of yesterday I was a drone in a massive hive of surreal tech activity...mysterious glass walled labs and acres of cubicle farms spread among numerous buildings in a campus with an enormous cafeteria in the center. The truth is, I now find the whole hi-tech enterprise thing rather dispiriting, and my former affection for technology has evolved into edgy wariness. I don't really think it has served us all that well, and in fact I now wonder who serves what.

Anyway, I am trying to survive the vague sense of dread from day to day as I commence the process of ramping up for the job. The training is good (and will last seven weeks!), and it has rekindled some interest for me and a recollection of some of the technical elements I once enjoyed (in a more cordial environment).

If I don't feel I will be able to serve post-training for at least six months, I had best cut the training short at two weeks so I don't feel I have unfairly exploited the opportunity.

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